the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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