i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize