so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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