we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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