No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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