I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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