you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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