Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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