counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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