if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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