You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
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We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
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Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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