did you get engaged???
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
These tits shall not be calmed
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