I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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