So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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