Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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