woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize