I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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