that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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