Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the room spins SO much faster in panama
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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