It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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