I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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