Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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