so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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