i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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