HIV tests are more positive than that guy
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize