I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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