Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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