I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize