Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize