A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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