Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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