as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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