I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize