We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can't put those talents on a resume
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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