bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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