I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
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I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
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This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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