Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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