I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize