i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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