it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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