the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Someone came in the potted fern
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize