Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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