One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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