There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize