i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I need to sanitize my soul.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize