I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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