Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize