The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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