hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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