quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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